My Husband Speaks Candidly About Having a Diabetic Wife

Posted on July 13, 2011

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So…I decided to ask my husband (Brad)  what he truly thinks about living with a diabetic wife.  I had never come right out and asked him.  We indirectly and casually talk about it occasionally, but I wanted to know more.  What did he think?   Feel? 

I will admit, it was a bit strange “interviewing” my husband.  Strange but insightful and fun.   

Let’s get right to it.  Here is what he said:

Me:  What do you think about diabetes?

Brad:  It is a disease.  Not scary though.  You have it, you accept it, and you do the best you can with it.  There is no point in fearing diabetes because fearing diabetes does not make it go away.

Me:  Disease?  You know I don’t like the word disease.  It has a negative connotation to me.  Why disease?

Brad:  I don’t view disease as negative.  It is just a word.  A word used by doctors, the medical world.  Only negative if you add negativity to it. 

Me:  Hmmmm…I guess that is okay.  As long as you don’t see diabetes as a negative, horrible thing.

Brad:  No.  Of course not.

Me:  Next question.  What about when we first started dating, and I told you I was diabetic?  I was a little nervous to tell you.  Afraid you would be afraid of diabetes.

Brad:  I had never met a diabetic prior to you.  But I was cool with it.  Never entered my mind that I should not date a person with diabetes.

Me:  And you never have questioned marrying a diabetic?  Even during crazy times like when you had to call the paramedics because I tried to beat you up when you attempted to get Glucagon in me? 

Brad:  Never questioned it.  When the crazy stuff like super lows happen, it is a reminder that you are a human being.  You are not perfect, and you have diabetes.  That is part of living with diabetes.  Yet, I never think “she’s gonna die”.  Never.  And you don’t use it as a crutch or an excuse.  Your positive, “I can do it all” attitude makes me feel the same way about you and diabetes.

Me:  Do you ever worry about it?  Ever? 

Brad:  No.  What good does worrying do?  I have faith it’s gonna be okay.  Assuming whatever is meant to be will be.  I cannot control fate.

Me:  Never worry?  I am pretty optimistic and upbeat, but I still worry sometimes.   Part of me wants you to worry a little bit, but I understand your point of view and respect it. 

Brad:  “Bad” stuff can happen to anyone.  It does not even have to be diabetes related.  You or I could be in a car accident tomorrow. 

Me:  So true.  We cannot worry about every little thing (sometimes easier said then done).  It would consume us.  We cannot live life that way.  I must admit, I try not to worry.  I have to trust that it will be okay.  Whether it be when I go to bed at night, get behind the wheel of my car, or go out for a run.  Trust.  Believe.  It will be fine.

Me:  Sorry about that tangent.  Focusing back…Has having a diabetic wife changed your life?

Brad:  Never really think of diabetes as changing my life.  But seeing my wife running, spinning, and eating healthy inspires me. 

Me:  (smile).  What about resources available to spouses of diabetics?

Brad:  When we first met, I did get some brochures from the American Diabetes Association.  And I have learned a lot through you.  I know what to do if  you are not feeling well, having a low blood sugar, etc.  Have never really joined groups online or in person.  I think every person is unique, and I am sure there are resources available.

Me:  Yes, with all the online information, there is so much available now…

Me:  Do you ever worry about our girls getting diabetes since their mom has it?

Brad:  No.  If it happens, we will deal with it then.  You cannot worry about what you cannot control.  And if they did get diabetes, I know you would be an excellent role model.  It would be okay.

Me:  I agree with you.  I admit that I have tested their blood sugar a few times when they complained about being thirsty, but I never had this fear or anxiety.  It was more a “I need to double-check” attitude.  Deep down, I know it would be fine.  Not that I want my children to be diagnosed with diabetes, but I know we could handle it if it happened.

Me:  Do you ever wish I did not have diabetes?

Brad:  I don’t know.  It would change who you are.  It’s such a part of you.  Part of us.  Would be strange.  Diabetes drives you to do so much- eat healthy, exercise, help others.

Me:  True.  A lot of my time is spent exercising, eating healthy, reaching out to others, coaching, etc.  It is a big part of my life.  I actually think I would miss it.  Cannot even believe I am saying that.  But true.

Me:  If you could give a few words of advice to people who have diabetic spouses, what would those words be?

Brad:  It is not the end of the world.  Keep living.  You cannot put your life on hold.  Help your spouse do what’s right for him/her, but don’t let diabetes run your lives. 

Me:  Thanks so much for sharing.  I love you!

 

 

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