Two days have passed since I had my gastroparesis test. One day since I got the test results – I do not have gastroparesis.
I was so relieved to learn that I did not have a complication that would lead to a liquid diet and possibly a food tube. Relieved to know that all the hard work I have put towards my diabetes has paid off.
The thought of having a diabetic complication scared me and instilled feelings of disappointment and failure. I questioned whether my tight control (most of the time) had been enough. Was I destined for something out of my control? Was I really in control?
While the results turned out great, they still have made me think about my life with diabetes.
What am I doing? Why has all this happened? Part of me thinks I should just let it go. Move on and resume my life.
But another part of me feels like change is in order. When it comes to my diabetes, I will continue to eat healthy, maintain good blood sugars (recognizing I will have highs and lows), exercise, and work on lowering stress (exercise helps with this). This is something we all should be doing – diabetics and non diabetics. Luckily, it has become engrained in my lifestyle.
Acknowledging that there will be days when I eat unhealthy or have a high or low blood sugar or skip exercising or stress out. I am a human being and perfectionism is not possible or desired.
However, the past few days have made me realize that while perfectionism is not the answer, choosing to really embrace my life beyond diabetes is in order. Time is flying by. Life goes by fast. I am almost 42 and is there where I want to be? It is almost like I was diagnosed with gastroparesis when it comes to my mind set. Yes, my stomach is operating fine. But my mind and spirit has changed.
Little and large blips in life happen for a reason. Sometimes the “why” is immediately evident. Other times, I don’t understand the “why” until years later. I am starting to grasp the “why”.
Why is because I needed to evaluate and change. Change for the better. Grab hold of my life and really assess what I am doing. Where I want to be today, tomorrow, next week.
Let me simmer on this awhile. I will be back later with my thoughts…
Have a good day!