Am I a Diabetic Today?

Posted on May 23, 2011

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Today was one of those days where I ran around all day.  Literally.  I got up, got the kids off to school, went for a run (sprint), spent the day at the zoo with my first grader, then led my kindergartner’s girl scout troup at the park, took my dog for a stroll, and sat down.  Finally.  Just now.

It was a non stop whirlwind, which I love.  I will definitely sleep well tonight. 

But when I got home a few minutes ago, I realized, I did not feel like a diabetic today.  Am I still a diabetic? 

Yes, of course I am a diabetic.  I did quickly test myself before and after meals and ate lunch and snacks.  With no lows or highs and all the excitement and energy of the day, hardly anytime was spent thinking about being a diabetic.  I was just a super busy mom running around with her kids and their classmates.

It was nice…And hoping it continues.  Not the running around part (I am ready to relax), but the great bloodsugars.  94.  124.  109. etc.  Almost like someone was making sure that my focus today would be on having fun with the kids and not my diabetes.  Thank you!

So I started thinking.  What if I woke up tomorrow and did not have diabetes.  What?  I know, the “what if”?  Seriously though.  How amazing would that be?  Or would I miss my diabetes?  Would I still treat my body with respect and care? 

Hmmmm…I would be willing to give it a try.  I am sure the first few days I would constantly be feeling  around for my pump and trying to test my bloodsugar.  I would still read the labels on anything I eat.  I would. 

Think about it.  Not having diabetes.  Relief?  Really?  Would I still feel in control of my body?  How would I measure control?  By how I feel? No numbers?

I don’t know.  There is no way to answer those questions  because I am no longer playing the what if game.  Remember.

With or without diabetes, I think I would still live in the moment.  I would still listen to my body and the signs it sends me.  And I would still take good care of my health – exercise, nutrition, and relaxing/destressing. 

Diabetes has taught me the importance of a healthy lifestyle.  Who knows how long I will live, or how I will die (hopefully a long, long time).  Yet, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow (let’s hope not).  But, I feel better knowing that I am doing all I can to take care of myself.  I am trying.  And that is all I can do.

Think about.  Life with diabetes.  Life without diabetes?  How would it really be different?  Would some of the stress associated with diabetes appear in other ways and forms?  Would the worries of diabetes turn into other worries?  Would all the self care turn into other forms of nurturing?  Would all the time spent on diabetes related stuff be put towards other stuff? 

How different or the same would I be? 

I need to think about.  An interesting concept. 

For now, I am still a diabetic.  Totally Diabetic.  And I am proud of it!

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