It is Monday morning. And even though I am currently unemployed, it still feels like a Monday morning. There is something magical and fun about the weekends. And Monday mornings…Well, no avoiding them…They sneak up on us.
So as I sit here contemplating about what to write, I start to think about life. Life with diabetes.
What is my true purpose in blogging about diabetes? To share my life and experiences with others? To connect with fellow diabetics? To make a difference in the world? To inspire others? To give me something to do while I look for work? To fulfill my passion for helping people and diabetes.
All the above. And more…
Each and every diabetic has a story. Many stories. Some of triumph, some of fear. Hope. Depression. Inspiration. Despair. Faith. Frustration. Etc. Etc.
And intertwined in those stories is emotions, feelings, lives, and diabetes.
How does diabetes fit into the picture? The grand scheme of things? Day in, and day out.
It just fits. If we don’t let it snuggle in, it squirms it’s way into our lives. No matter what, diabetes is there with us.
But that is okay. I realized yesterday after my third low blood sugar of the day (that P90X really affected my blood sugars), that I am used to low blood sugars. Granted these were not super lows – losing consciousness or having seizures. But they were still lows. The feeling weak, wanting to eat everything in the kitchen type of lows. Luckily, I feel them coming on and can react. Do I enjoy the feeling of crankiness, starvation, and lethargy? Absolutely not. But I have learned not to attack or over react most of the time. I still have my moments.
I feel a low approaching, acknowledge I am feeling crappy, treat the low, try to rest for a few minutes, and then move on. And I stay out of the kitchen so I am not tempted to eat, eat, eat everything in sight (which I have done).
But my point is that my body is alerting me to a problem – a low blood sugar. I notice the alert because I feel yucky and out of control. It catches my attention. It makes me uncomfortable. Wanting to overcome this uncomfortable feeling, I treat the low. I acknowledge that I am a diabetic and need to eat something.
And it take a few (sometimes several) minutes before I feel better. It is not magical. One, two, three and I feel better is not going to happen. Gradually, my blood sugar rises and I get back to feeling like myself. But even then, I may be a bit tired at first depending on the severity of the low (I may even feel super tired and drained – just depends). Being a diabetic makes me so in touch with how I feel. If any little “thing” is off, I know it. I feel it.
But as I experience all this stuff (like low blood sugars) my life is moving on. Life is not static. And I have to keep moving forward. My young kids need me. Stuff has to get done. The phone rings. Email has to be checked. Life. And diabetes is not static either. There is constant activity going on inside my body.
How do we do it? How do diabetics handle all this stuff and activity? Depends on the day. But with my low blood sugars, I have learned to treat them and myself with grace. The super lows or multiple lows really test me. They may even zap me (low energy, crying, sadness, frustration). Almost like a shock to my body. “Hello, take notice of me.” And I do take notice. But I try to do it gracefully and kindly. Understanding that this is part of my life. No if, ands, or buts. This is it. So why rebel or over overreact (eating a quart of ice cream, ignoring the low). I try to just respond and respect. Sometimes easier said then done. But I try.
Why does my body want my to pay attention to it? Obviously, either I have taken too much insulin, not eaten enough, calculated carbs incorrectly, underestimated the power of exercise, etc. But beyond that. Why is my body shouting out?
To stay alive. To survive. At least it has the ability to communicate. To let me know something is going wrong. It needs help. Glucose.
If I stop and think of the intricacies of my working body, it is pretty amazing.
So am I saying my body goes haywire at times and needs extra attention and help sometimes? Ummm…Yep. I guess so. But is that a “bad” thing? I don’t think so. At least I have the courage and the strength (and the list goes on) to live with low blood sugars and diabetes. To be the person I need to be. Living a healthy life. With diabetes. And sometimes low blood sugars.
Live on with diabetes:)