Go With the Flow

Posted on January 9, 2015


Let me start off by saying that it is not always easy living with diabetes.  I admit it.

Diabetes can be challenging.  I have taken a ride in an ambulance due to low blood sugar on two occasions (once when pregnant).  I have had to stop mid run to eat something sugary like candy corn or caramel chews (my new addiction).  I have woken up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat due to low blood sugar. I have been a tad (okay a lot) cranky when low.   And I have felt in slow motion, even sick  due to high blood sugars.  Every single day of my life, 24/7, I am a diabetic.  There is no changing that for the time being.  Michele Ann Brown is a type 1 diabetic.  And life goes on…

I refuse to sit around and feel sorry for myself even on the days when diabetes makes my life challenging.  This is life.  My life.  And for reasons beyond my control, the diabetes card is one of many cards that have been dealt to me.  One of many.  The many is what keeps me going.  The good cards like my kids, husband, friends, long distance running, travel, writing, and the list goes goes on.

It would be easy to stop during a long run when my blood sugar gets low and quit for the day.  Walk home.  Let the low blood sugar feeling (queasy, tired, shaky, edgy) consume me.  Take over me.   I acknowledge the inconvenient feeling of being low especially when 4 miles out on a long run.  I do not like it one bit.  I eat my candy and slow down my pace.  Sometimes I walk for a few minutes.  I do what I need to do.  BUT, I keep moving forward.  There is no way I am going to let diabetes stop me.  Absolutely not.  This is just a small blip in my overall experience.  It will not last forever.

Perhaps it is a test to see how bad I want to run.  How bad I want to live with diabetes.

I find it helps to think of it as a game.  Or one of those reality shows.  Will Michele make it?  Yes she will!!!

There are times when it is more difficult to just go with the flow.  I woke up in the emergency room many years ago when pregnant with my first daughter.  I had no recollection of what had happened.  Apparently, my blood sugar had plummeted during the night (we had eaten out, and I overestimated my carb intake), and I would not let my husband help me.  I became very physical and even hit the police officer who was the first to arrive on the scene.  How embarrassing.

BUT, thanks to many great people, I survived, and my daughter was fine.  The event scared me.   I was afraid to sleep for several nights in fear that it would happen again.  BUT I went with the flow.  I had to keep living and moving forward.  Was I more cautious when counting carbs?  You bet.  Did I wake up and test during the night on occasion?  Definitely.  BUT I was moving forward.  I was making adjustments and responding to my needs.

There are going to be bumps in the road.  Sharp turns and twists will test us.  Life is not static.  That is part of life-everyone’s life. Keep going.  Does not matter at what pace.

It is not always going to be easy.  Yet, I have found that if I don’t  resist the challenge, then things go a lot smoother. I recover quicker and get to the place I need to be.  All while learning more about me and life.

Go with the flow and see where life will take you.